My Heart

Dear Lord,

I need You now more than ever. Not that I didn't know this before, but I am just now able to let go of my pride and vanity and conceit to be able to admit it. I have prayed for Your guidance financially and for You to bless this pregnancy, but I have kept the majority of the situation to myself for me to deal with on my own. Instead of giving everything to You, I have placed myself in a vulnerable position without Your protection all because 'I can do it myself". Truth is though, that I can't. I simply can't. Yes, it is my body, but I have no control over it. I cannot be the mother I want to be to my daughter or the wife I want to be to my husband because I physically do not have the strength or stamina to do or the ability to hault the contractions consciously. I need the help only You can give to endure all of this. Please, help me die to my flesh so that I can live in You and the abundance of Your blessings and provision that only a relationship with You gives. My pride be damned, I just cannot in and of myself do it. I thank You for this experience, though it's not over yet, because I feel You instilling patience, endurance, and inner strength all the while dismantling my independence and bringing me closer to You. I thank You so much for burdening my parents to pray for me and my family, for bringing people into my life who want to assist us by watching my daughter on occasion, for the graciousness and compassion You have given my boss to accommodate my physical needs for the time being. I have witnessed Your support without even having completely given the situation over to You. I repent because my pride has gotten in the way of what You have in store for me. Please, help me to completely rely on You.

In Jesus name,
Amen.